Farnes 2018

Reports on our previous club dive trips and some of our day diving activities
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Tim Phillips
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Farnes 2018

Post by Tim Phillips » Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:47 pm

Franes August 2018

Dive Manager Danny

They say that the secret to dive managing is the ability to delegate tasks my tasks being looking after the kit and writing the report

This trip was a baptism of fire for a number of people, not least Danny who with the assistance of Jane was running his first dive trip

It would be fair to say that there were a great deal of pre trip nerves, would there be enough cylinders, would everyone get there, would the weather gods be kind

With 3 days to go things looked decidedly dodgy with high winds being the order of the weekend

2 days before hand the call was made to Lee who operates Farne Diver and to everyones surprise the trip was on

This meant that my plans for a quiet weekend single handedly tackling the EU Guinness lake had to wait for a while

Kit all packed and off loaded onto Geoff who had use of a van he had acquired from unknown sources we were on the way

A quick stop at the Delph for air and the obligatory bacon sandwich and the big black van was once more on the road for another weekend of fun and games

Upon arrival Mick Matt and Chris were already in attendance and assured us that the pub was still in the same place

Rooms were allocated, very nice clean rooms with TV, WIFI and tea and coffee facilities

The plan was to do a BBQ on the Friday evening however the weather was a little unsettled and the chef didn’t fancy standing over damp sausages and soggy burgers it was plan B

Off to the chip shop in Seahouses where for the price of a small three bed semi fish and chips, pie and chips and all manner of non alcoholic beverages were purchased and very nice too

Matt, never one to conform with the norm opted for the more exotic fare offered by the local kebab shop and was next seen with his nose pressed up against the chip shop window his chilli sauce breath steaming up said window as he gazed longingly at the rest of us filling our faces for the next half hour

A short stroll on the harbour concluded the proceedings and it was back to the accommodation to enjoy one or two cold ones

The journey back was made all the more enjoyable when 2 of the local folk decided to have a fight outside a pub, more handbags at dawn than Madison Square Garden but entertaining non the less

By this time Karen had arrived and was enjoying her chips unaware of events unfolding directly behind her. All became apparent when Matt opened bathroom window gave a sigh of relief and uttered the immortal words “better out than in”

The final arrival was captain chaos himself with the dive gear and cylinders and we were ready for the off
The morning started with breakfast, the full English type and it was down to the harbour for the days entertainment

Dannys first task was to herd the sheep onto the boat in an organised fashion, this was accomplished with little or no problems and we were off

The sea was as Stuart would say a bit lumpy, and as the boat started to roll about some of the participants became noticeably quieter and showed a great deal less enthusiasm that they had an hour earlier

Arriving the first site everyone was keen to kit up and get into the water

The trip was predominantly aimed at those who had never been in the sea before and so buddy pairs had to be set accordingly Adam drew the short straw and ended up with yours truly (I think he was quite pleased really)

We were the last pair into the water, only because, as a certain dentist will tell you, I struggle with my buoyancy in a dry suit and have to wear a wetsuit

A pleasant dive to around 20 meters with the odd seal coming for a look (no normal seals just odd ones)
Adams new game of lobster harassing was only interrupted by his other pastime of interfering with the crabs
Back on the surface with plenty of air to spare and it was time for a brew

The mood on the boat was much improved with many smiling faces. However its amazing how quickly the mood changes as does the facial complexion as the boat gently rocks which put me in mind of the lullaby rock a bye baby

A second dive followed and it was more crustacean harassing, we had lost a few divers due to seasickness but those who dived appeared to enjoy it

Now it was time to return to base.

Wind against tide conspired to make the trip back an interesting one, the silence of the divers broken only by the antics of Mick as he performed his very lifelike impression of a seal

Back on terra firma it was back to the accommodation and given that it was Saturday it was a quick shower and off to the pub to catch the afternoon football match. Unfortunately due to the lack of Sky telly in the hostelry we has to make do with some ridiculous game show along the Ant and Dec Saturday takeaway style

Many tales were told by Chris but I couldn’t understand any of them, (Im originally from the North east and possibly should have had the edge on the others) so god knows what the others thought he was saying but as the Guinness went down things became slightly clearer

An evening meal at the pub followed where learned a valuable lesson, Never bet with Conrad as he can eat his own body weight in ice cream very quickly

The usual post diving joviality continued until bedtime and it was onto day 2

The day started very much as the last day ended with the exception of a sea mist, The sea looking deceptively calm but the wind continued

We had lost 2 divers now with John succumbing to The Craster Arms revenge and Mick feeling the effects of “eating too late the evening before”

We were off and silence descended on the dive deck
Today was development day for Geoff and Adam as they dived together under my supervision buddy checks made it was time for crustacean worrying again accompanied by more odd seals making their appearances as we carved our way through the kelp

During the safety stop Jane and Karen made a brief appearance it was interesting to see that Karen had appeared to put a little weight on during there dive and once back on the boat the reason became clear
we’ve all done it, jump into the water without zipping up properly, and Karen, looking slightly like the man who advertises a certain brand of tyre preceded to empty her drysuit of several gallons of North sea water
Needless to say that was Karen done for the day

A surface interval followed whereby Conrad gave us all a lesson on how not to fish

Back in the water again for more of the same and it was back on the rollercoaster to the shore for the mayhem that is unloading
I love the Farnes but the unloading of the boat is nothing short of total chaos, full marks to Geoff for having the foresight to have the van close by

Back to the accommodation for showers and wetsuit deep cleaning and it was time to start the long drive home

I think despite the weather, the seasickness, Johns slight medical problem and Micks eating time disorder everyone enjoyed it

So 12 went and 12 safely came back without incident

As for lessons learned

Dont eat your chips outside Matts bathroom window after he’s been eating kebabs
Dont gamble with 14 year olds you will lose
Eat at the proper time
Check the pub has Sky telly unless you like Saturday evening game shows
If you harass lobsters you’ll eventually get hurt
Dive management is harder than it looks


On behalf of Danny and Jane Thanks to you all and hope to see you on more trips

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